New Hampshire
It’s hard to believe four years have passed since the Universe offered me such a great opportunity for growth and change. And I’m not so sure the word ‘offer’ is quite accurate because at the time it felt like I had been punched in the stomach. I’ve never really spoken about what happened but so many people have asked me about this, I decided to share my story. Don’t worry, I’ll do my best to keep this short. Ish.
Since 1982 I had been involved with a non-profit organization whose original mission was to help individuals get in touch with the God of their Heart and establish a personal relationship with Divine Source. I was ordained as a minister in 1983, was appointed Assistant Pastor of the church in 1984 and held the office of Bishop from 1994 until my departure in 2011. Within the organization was a school for metaphysical studies and also a school for hypnosis training and certification, both of which I was a director and principle instructor.
Many internal changes took place through the years and eventually it became a sick and toxic place – only I didn’t quite see it at the time. Yes, I saw things shifting and moving away from the original intention of the organization but I also continued to believe, very deeply, in the original picture and mission of the church. So I kept smiling and doing my best to keep things flowing by being a good steward and shepherd of the flock. Then in June 2011 I was called to an impromptu Board meeting. There were three board members at the time, myself and two other women. The other two had decided (without a vote I might add) that they thought it would be best for the organization if I no longer received a monthly stipend for my services; that because there had been a decline in students it would financially help the organization if I worked for free. But, I could keep 20% of all the hypnosis work I did.
I think this is when I had my first real out of body experience. I could see them talking and smiling but I was floating far above them, as if in a tunnel. Their voices were muddled. I wasn’t comprehending the logic of what I had heard. No stipend. No income. How was I going to pay my rent? How were my husband and I going to make ends meet on one income? I came back into my body hearing these words, ‘Debi, we can’t lower our stipends because we have bills to pay, you understand!’ Oh yes, I did understand. I understood how, even though these two women did not pay rent or utilities or gas for their free cars, that they were both stuck in survival, lack and limitation. I understood that even though they taught the techniques and concepts and stood behind the pulpit in service they did not, in that moment, have the faith they professed to maintain. I also understood I was leaving.
I took a week to meditate on my next step to make sure I wasn’t having a knee jerk reaction before sending in my letter of resignation. I was devastated. I was hurt. I was really pissed off. And I was so scared. I always thought I’d be at that place for the rest of my life, helping people, teaching and healing. All my sense of personal value was stripped. I felt like I had nothing to offer. If the people I had known, worked with and loved for twenty-nine years didn’t see me as anyone with value or purpose how could I help anyone else? One thing became very clear to me. All my years in training of applying the techniques and concepts had brought me to this point in time. The teaching was about to begin.
Hypnosis: Every day I went into hypnosis to release the emotional pain I was experiencing. Situations from my childhood were also bubbling to the surface because the emotions were similar. It was amazing to see how much crap I was still holding on to from years before. After the intensity began to subside I used hypnosis to create my new image of who I wanted to become.
Prayer: I prayed. Constantly. Sometimes my prayers were more of a plea, often I found myself begging for some divine intervention of understanding. But mainly I prayed to have the anger removed from my space and to allow forgiveness to flow for the situation and everyone involved. This didn’t happen overnight, but the bubble finally popped and I was set free.
Hiking: My husband and I started walking and hiking. Every day. Nature became our sanctuary. It’s difficult to hold on to hurt feelings under a canopy of redwood trees. And breathing in fresh ocean air can cleanse your mind and rejuvenate your soul faster than any written script or sermon. So the outdoors became our pulpit for the new beginnings in which we had embarked upon. And we continue to walk or hike every day!
Within one month of resigning I started a new business and created a new web site. Today I am humbled by our ever abundant, gracious Father and Universe for sending people to me for whom I can offer help and solace. I’ve worked with more people these last four years on my own than I ever was able to attract at the other organization. The Lord does work in mysterious way. I regret nothing from the past and am so grateful for this journey and look forward to all the adventures yet to come. And that’s my story. Or at least a good chunk of it.
If you are going through trials and tribulations, hang in there! There’s a greater reason and purpose that may not be revealed yet, but in time will be made known. If you need guidance with life transitions I can help.
The link to my web site is here: Healed Heart Hypnosis
Some of the sights during our walks:
Yellowstone Park
Donner Lake CA
Lake McDonald, Glacier National Park
Redwood Regional Park, Oakland CA
